A Bowl Full of Obscene Alphabet Soup
WTF? WTAF? Why TF? IDGAF! IDGAFF! FU C-A-N-C-E-R!!!!
So many well meaning people telling me it will all be fine. They just have a "feeling." Well, it may turn out okay, but right now nothing is fine. Nothing feels fine. Everything feels scary. Everything feels unknown. Everything feels angry and annoying and scary and shitty and screwed up.
Everything feels lonely and sucky and awful. I want to tell the whole world but no one gives a damn really. I mean, everyone has their own shit to deal with- me included. But right now I want to cry and let someone soak up the tears of what I am dealing with.
I wanted to call my best friend tonight after I told my mother. As soon as I opened Facebook after the phone call to mom, I see "My sister in law gained her angel wings and went to heaven." F U Cancer for taking her sister in law. FU cancer for leaving a hole in a family and for taking this beautiful life. But this beautiful lady fought it tooth and nail. She fought with every fiber of her being and didn't give up once. She fought down to the last step. And I plan to be like her, but tonight I couldn't tell my friend my news. It just wasn't the time.
I will get more information with which to fight and slay this dragon. And slay it I will.
So many well meaning people telling me it will all be fine. They just have a "feeling." Well, it may turn out okay, but right now nothing is fine. Nothing feels fine. Everything feels scary. Everything feels unknown. Everything feels angry and annoying and scary and shitty and screwed up.
Everything feels lonely and sucky and awful. I want to tell the whole world but no one gives a damn really. I mean, everyone has their own shit to deal with- me included. But right now I want to cry and let someone soak up the tears of what I am dealing with.
I wanted to call my best friend tonight after I told my mother. As soon as I opened Facebook after the phone call to mom, I see "My sister in law gained her angel wings and went to heaven." F U Cancer for taking her sister in law. FU cancer for leaving a hole in a family and for taking this beautiful life. But this beautiful lady fought it tooth and nail. She fought with every fiber of her being and didn't give up once. She fought down to the last step. And I plan to be like her, but tonight I couldn't tell my friend my news. It just wasn't the time.
I will get more information with which to fight and slay this dragon. And slay it I will.
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