Hazards, Bunkers and the Little White Ball
It takes some of us longer than others to realize that we repeat the same patterns over and over again. We gain confidence. We lose confidence. We lose weight. We gain weight. We crave change and we love familiarity and comfort.
Even with the stops and starts of my blog, I have gone back to review what happened in earlier versions. I seem to keep making the same "mistakes" again and again. I once read that you cannot make the same mistake twice because the second time, it is not a mistake. It is a choice. That actually makes a lot of sense. I do not like it, but it does make sense. We make choices to fall back into patterns. We make choices to go back to the same people, same places, same habits. I could be mad at myself for going back to those choices, but I believe they are meant to teach me something.
My husband is a golfer. He enjoys the game. He continues to play the game and those things he practices seem to get better. So I have been thinking about golf as an analogy for practicing to get out of our negative spaces.
Anyone who has ever participated in golfing knows it is the most delightfully addicting frustration you may ever experience. You spend loads of money to chase a dream and a little white ball. No matter how frustrated you get, you just keep going back for more. You long to get it right, but you know that each time you go out something will be different. You get used to each hole but something always changes- the way the grass is cut, the pin placement, the length of the grass, how hard or soft the greens and fairway feel. You are your own competition, your own best friend and worst enemy. You remember which holes gave you trouble the last time you played. You scope out the hazards and try to avoid them. Yet sometimes, you wind up in a hazard. You can take the easy way out, move your ball and take some penalty strokes- but that's not how the game is meant to be played and you don't really learn anything about how to prevent it should it happen again. You should practice and try to get the ball out. You have to evaluate the factors that got you into the hazard, and then evaluate the steps you need to take to get out. It is only those who practice consistently that really have the skills to get out of a hazard. The pros don't get to be pros by leaving things to chance. They practice for hours and hours. They get instruction. They work with coaches and people who are experts on the game, on their physiology, on their mental state. So many factors.
Why do we fail to practice steps to avoid things that get us bogged down emotionally and mentally? Is it because the world tells us we are weak? No good? Those are fairly common reasons why we don't practice. Society also still seems to stigmatize people who need "coaching" on how to get to a positive place in their minds and hearts. We don't dare admit we have a coach, do we? Why not?
We sometimes have a bad day, a bad moment in time. Even the pros have them. Yet we fixate on them and we can't see the way out, despite the fact we keep going over the same ground. I once heard that "Practice does not make perfect. Practice makes permanent." Do you think that's not true? Think about it carefully before you disclaim that notion. Practicing the "wrong" thing over and over again develops as much a pathway in your mind as practicing the "right" thing.
I have been lazy. I have not wanted to practice the steps necessary to help me stay out of my negative headspace. It's hard work. But we don't get stronger by not working. We want the quick fix. We all have coping mechanisms. Some are good and some are less productive.
I keep winding up in the hazard. It's familiar territory, yet I still don't really have the answer on how to get out. I will keep defaulting back to this hazard unless I commit to practicing how to stay out of it. I am tired of living in the hazard. I am tired of having to fight my way out. This time, step by step, thought by thought, I am going to get out of this place and do all I can to practice how I will stay out. It's time to commit to a new level of success and do whatever it takes to stay out of the hazard as much as possible.
Even with the stops and starts of my blog, I have gone back to review what happened in earlier versions. I seem to keep making the same "mistakes" again and again. I once read that you cannot make the same mistake twice because the second time, it is not a mistake. It is a choice. That actually makes a lot of sense. I do not like it, but it does make sense. We make choices to fall back into patterns. We make choices to go back to the same people, same places, same habits. I could be mad at myself for going back to those choices, but I believe they are meant to teach me something.
My husband is a golfer. He enjoys the game. He continues to play the game and those things he practices seem to get better. So I have been thinking about golf as an analogy for practicing to get out of our negative spaces.
Anyone who has ever participated in golfing knows it is the most delightfully addicting frustration you may ever experience. You spend loads of money to chase a dream and a little white ball. No matter how frustrated you get, you just keep going back for more. You long to get it right, but you know that each time you go out something will be different. You get used to each hole but something always changes- the way the grass is cut, the pin placement, the length of the grass, how hard or soft the greens and fairway feel. You are your own competition, your own best friend and worst enemy. You remember which holes gave you trouble the last time you played. You scope out the hazards and try to avoid them. Yet sometimes, you wind up in a hazard. You can take the easy way out, move your ball and take some penalty strokes- but that's not how the game is meant to be played and you don't really learn anything about how to prevent it should it happen again. You should practice and try to get the ball out. You have to evaluate the factors that got you into the hazard, and then evaluate the steps you need to take to get out. It is only those who practice consistently that really have the skills to get out of a hazard. The pros don't get to be pros by leaving things to chance. They practice for hours and hours. They get instruction. They work with coaches and people who are experts on the game, on their physiology, on their mental state. So many factors.
Why do we fail to practice steps to avoid things that get us bogged down emotionally and mentally? Is it because the world tells us we are weak? No good? Those are fairly common reasons why we don't practice. Society also still seems to stigmatize people who need "coaching" on how to get to a positive place in their minds and hearts. We don't dare admit we have a coach, do we? Why not?
We sometimes have a bad day, a bad moment in time. Even the pros have them. Yet we fixate on them and we can't see the way out, despite the fact we keep going over the same ground. I once heard that "Practice does not make perfect. Practice makes permanent." Do you think that's not true? Think about it carefully before you disclaim that notion. Practicing the "wrong" thing over and over again develops as much a pathway in your mind as practicing the "right" thing.
I have been lazy. I have not wanted to practice the steps necessary to help me stay out of my negative headspace. It's hard work. But we don't get stronger by not working. We want the quick fix. We all have coping mechanisms. Some are good and some are less productive.
I keep winding up in the hazard. It's familiar territory, yet I still don't really have the answer on how to get out. I will keep defaulting back to this hazard unless I commit to practicing how to stay out of it. I am tired of living in the hazard. I am tired of having to fight my way out. This time, step by step, thought by thought, I am going to get out of this place and do all I can to practice how I will stay out. It's time to commit to a new level of success and do whatever it takes to stay out of the hazard as much as possible.
Comments
Post a Comment